Youth Ministry Begins At Home
Recently, I had the opportunity of hearing Lisa Hendey speak to the Youth Ministers of our diocese. During this time, we discussed many important topics, including the reality of children leaving the Church today at a much earlier age than in the past.
The next day, while my wife attended the women’s conference with Lisa in Newburgh, I had the privilege of having what I call a “Daddy-Sonsday.”
I see the world through my youth minister’s vision (it’s a special power we have), and on Daddy-Sonsday, youth ministry to my Domestic Church included a 7-, 5- and 3-year-old walking a mall, building stuffed bears and eating bad pizza for lunch because the restaurant has a play-place. Reflecting on Lisa’s lecture the day before, I continued to wonder about the impact this day would have on my sons.
During our conversation with the youth ministers, Lisa brought up a recent article, “Why Catholics are leaving the faith by age 10 and what Parents can do about it.” It made me think of a “conversation” I had with my 7 year old, Max, the previous weekend at Mass … while in line for Communion.
Max: “Dad.” (He thinks he’s whispering… I’m sure the Usher 40 feet away heard him)
Me: “Shh.” (placed finger on mouth, tried to remain reverent)
Max: “Dad, Why does he have a sword?” (His tone changes, but not his volume as he points up to the statue in front)
Me: (Bending over to whisper in his ear) “I’ll tell you after Mass, now please be quiet.”
Max: “But Dad! He has a Sword in Church!” (So he didn’t actually yell this, but it felt like it to me)
Me: (I didn’t say this, but the boy has a good point: It is a sword, and if I were 7, I too would think it’s cool.) “That’s St. Paul. He has the sword. St. Peter, he’s the one holding the keys.” (I didn’t want to tell him about St. Paul’s beheading right then and there, so I admit to deflecting … but it satisfied his curiosity for that moment.)
When we talk about youth leaving the faith by the age of 10, I can’t help but think of these types of moments. When I was employed in a parish, I had far too many young people tell me that they wish they could talk to their parents about God or faith, but it wasn’t going to happen. I wish more parents would’ve taken advantage of the workshops, programs, prayer services or even my willingness to assist.
Youth Ministers already have a difficult task: Make God and faith relevant in the lives of our young people even though the world around them says not to worry about that religion stuff … that being spiritual is good enough. It’s even harder when the youth are surrounded by this type of mentality in their homes, or from other trusted mentors.
This is why as parents, we are all Youth Ministers. As members of our own Domestic Churches, we have each been charged with sharing the faith with one another. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again: Youth Ministry begins at home, as early as birth.
Raising our sons/daughters to live out our Catholic faith begins with how we live it out at home and the example we share with our children. We can either instill a love and passion for the faith that they witness, or we can instill a faith of convenience by participating out of necessity or fear, not a loving desire. It’s not easy, but Jesus always warned that living out our faith would be difficult.
Lisa talked to our youth-ministry leaders about how we can assist parents in this beautiful-but-quite-difficult vocation of raising children as faithful Catholics. I share this today because as parents, we can help our youth-ministry leaders by recognizing that our actions (or non-actions) will have a far greater influence than even the best youth-ministry professional.
Watching my boys on our Daddy-Sonsday reiterated to me that this partnership of youth minister and parent begins long before they enter a youth-ministry program. Youth Ministry begins at birth and continues every single moment of their lives.
Weyers is Associate Director of the Diocesan Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry.
